Entering her second year as a widow, my dear
friend Rachael was past the several stages of grief and closing that
chapter of her life; not an easy task but necessary for anyone who
has survival instincts. She began dating again and I couldn’t have
been happier for her. Sam was like a brother in a sense; a long
time friend from our college days. At first it was dinner and
theater tickets but soon developed into weekends at his Lake house.
Post menopausal, it didn’t occur to Rachael to
consider condoms. And in retrospect, she would not have asked Sam
about his sexual activities – there were things our generation
didn’t talk about. Therefore when her physician put her through a
battery of tests because of her complaints regarding sudden weight
loss and fatigue, she was shocked when she tested positive for HIV.
How does this happen at age 64, she wanted to
know. But it’s a fact: anyone can get HIV/AIDS regardless of age
from having unprotected sex, or sharing needles with an infected
person. Latex condoms can help prevent, but not insure an infected
person from transferring the virus to another. Because she did not
know her partner’s drug and/or sexual history, she was at risk!
Best friends since high school Rachael confided
in me. We decided to do an in-depth study of patients 55 years and
older with HIV/AIDS. But we were immediately at a disadvantage
because many, or should we say most, older people often mistake
signs of this virus for the normal aging complaints -- exactly as
Rachael had and they are less likely to get tested. Besides, what
patient in their senior years wants to discuss their sexual activity
with a physician that’s probably half their age? Not!
We soon realized the myths and misconceptions
regarding all elderly citizens help put the barriers in the way of
diagnosis and treatment of HIV/AIDS. It is still assumed that old
people live a life of celibacy and sobriety. Unfortunately, senior
adults do not always conform to public images any more than teens
do. Adding to this the doctor’s “Don’t ask, don’t tell” posture and
we’re at an impasse.
Statistics do confirm that older women are
becoming infected at a higher rate than older men. Without the fear
of pregnancy, the post-menopausal woman who is uninformed of the
dangers may become more sexually active with more partners. Even
her biology increases her risk as the vaginal walls thin and
lubrication decreases; thus, the membranes are more likely to tear
during intercourse, providing access for the virus.
But whatever the reasons…
failure to communicate leads to failure of diagnosis in its early,
most treatable stages. In many ways, HIV and old age
converge and aggravate each other rather than conflict. For
instance, memory loss may indicate AIDS-related dementia or
Alzheimer’s disease. This distinction is important because dementia
can be reversed; Alzheimer’s cannot.
As if the social isolation among senior
citizens who have lost a spouse is not enough, it is multiplied many
times over if their families realize they have HIV/AIDS.
Shamefully, this virus entered a society already having little
respect for its seniors. Most adult children lack the patience, and
precious few want the burden of caring for their parents in their
final years.
While it is common knowledge that the face of
AIDS is changing with the greater proportion being people of color,
women, children and heterosexuals -- what we never hear is that the
face is also aging.
2006 © Esther Smith
About
the Author: Smith has published numerous articles and writes a blog for
all artists:
http://the-self-taught-artist.com/blog.html
She also coaches new students on how to leave the time-for-money trap and set up
Leveraged Income for life.
http://thepermanentventure.com/dcc.htm If you can’t sing or ride a
bull, you better learn how to make your money work for more money.