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Let’s begin with your Profile as ‘home plate’. If you ever want to get to first base with any dream
partner you better have a killer Title and a magnetic Profile. Each
person has unique features of his/her personality and their profile
should reflect these. A home run is developed over time, but it all
begins here with the Profile.
There are some pretty tired words being used
in profiles. Yeah, we all like to “eat dinners out”, and take “long
walks on a beach or in the park”. Let’s try to be different. And even
if some people really DO think you’re gorgeous or handsome, it’s in poor
taste to mention it and comes off like bragging. So that’s a skip!!
One profile I read even mentioned he has never had a cavity – I’m at a
loss for words on this one.
I’m trying to point out that there isn’t
much originality in any of these lines. Most are overused.
One-upmanship takes a fresh approach. But not all of us are writers –
we know that. There isn’t a writer alive that hasn’t stared at a white
sheet of paper, or in this case a white screen, at one time or another.
As I read a string of profiles, I really
wonder if they are addressing a target-date. When you have a
particular dream date in mind, your profile must be geared to attracting
him/her. If you are not interested in partnering with single moms, you
must design your words to imply that. If your preference is a tallish
guy with all his hair, you have to find a way to hint at this without
being blatantly obvious or hurtful.
If you have faults that friends find
annoying, it’s best to be upfront with them rather than go through weeks
of correspondence only to be rejected and find yourself back to first
base.
Let’s understand the written word; aside
from the dangers of being misread or misinterpreted, words on paper are
totally one dimensional. Unlike meeting someone at a party or a
cocktail lounge, your words have no tone, no body language, and no
facial expression. In creative writing courses, one of the most
important lessons is to write hypnotic sentences. Poets learn quickly
how to “move a reader” making someone laugh, cry, or reminisce about a
past experience. They do all this with mere words.
As online dating moves from profile, to
first response, to contact by phone, to eventually meeting – each level
now has one added element; voice, body language, facial expression and
tone. Now you have plenty of cues as to your next move -- or not. But
this advantage takes time to acquire. In the meantime, you must depend
on words to express your feelings and create an image in the mind of
your reader.
Lastly; photos. It’s a given that if you
don’t include one, your profile will be skipped. It’s sorta like the
First Amendment – it makes everyone think you’re guilty even if you’re
not. The most common fear is you’re married and don’t want a spouse,
family or neighbors to see your picture on a dating site. Another
skip!
Realize this: not everyone in online dating
is movie-star material. But if you post a photo with sun-glasses and a
baseball cap, or as some gals do – with hair hanging over ½ of the face,
people will get suspicious. Black&White photos went out of style about
40 years ago, so if yours is not in color – we wonder if you dug out
your high school yearbook picture. These are big-time skips.
Because millions join online dating every
month, it should be fun. We choose a complementary photo, write a
personal profile and join our choice of dating programs. Surely among
all of our responses is the one we’re looking for. If this doesn’t
happen, often the mistake we make is submitting the same photo and
profile into a new dating program with the same results.
It’s time to rethink everything.
© 2006 Esther Smith
About
the Author: Smith has published numerous articles and writes a blog for
all artists:
http://the-self-taught-artist.com/blog.html
She also coaches new students on how to leave the time-for-money trap and set up
Leveraged Income for life.
http://thepermanentventure.com/dcc.htm If you can’t sing or ride a
bull, you better learn how to make your money work for more money.
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